Love and the Evil Overlord, briefly

I shall write on this while the experience is still fresh (and painful).

When you have a beautiful princess staying with you on an enforced holiday, and over the course of several weeks you bend her emotions to your will through a combination of stunning, original poetry, expensive gifts and sleep deprivation, do not, in any case, take her word for it that she's fallen madly in love with you.

In fact, rather the opposite is likely to have happened. She will, in all probability, wait for the moment when you are at your most vulnerable (physically and emotionally) to attempt to drive a hat pin through your eye.

A hat pin. Through your eye.

I thought we had something special.