Evil Overlord Insomnia

It has been a considerable length of time since I last cast forth pearls of wisdom for you eager swine. I would apologize, if I could work up the insincerity. The truth is I am a rather grumpy Evil Overlord at the moment, and haven't got the energy to spare.

I've certainly been busy, what with the trammeling of peasants and the beheading of plotters, and usually a busy Gar the Pitiless is a happy Gar the Pitiless. But lately I have suffered from difficulty sleeping, and the lack of rest is telling on my generally cheerful disposition.

The first handful of nights, I shrugged it off, owing to recent stress involving certain difficulties renegotiating a contract with beings from the nether plane. But even after the dispute was resolved (satisfactorily, I might add; these infernal creatures care mainly about quantity, not quality in regards to souls, and I've got absolute scads of villages under my domination, filled with the useless elderly and infirm, nearly all of them with perfectly servicable souls), I have had great difficulty in getting a good night's rest.

I swear, without a decent night's sleep I just feel less than human in the morning. And all the wailing and hair-pulling and heaping-of-ashes and the banging outside my Stronghold gates, from the relatives of the villagers I sacrificed to Hoth the Devourer, simply isn't helping matters. You'd think they'd have a little human decency and keep it down in the wee hours of the morning, at the very least.

I mean really. It's not like their dear old Granny or whomever is dead. She'll be perfectly fine up until the moment she keels over. Certainly, once she dies she'll experience an eternity of torment in the gullet of a demon, but it's not as if her relatives are going to get postcards from the afterlife explaining all that she's going through. Honestly, these peasants have no sense of proportion.

Well. I can't say that I've necessarily passed on any advice that will further your designs on Total Domination tonight, but the writing of this has passed a half hour that I would otherwise have spent staring up at my bedroom ceiling, so I suppose it was worth it. Now to test out the boiling oil I had my troops install at the Stronghold gates this afternoon. It had better be flammable. I specifically told them to make it flammable.